母親，我怎麼讓你等了那麼久?

母親真的老了，變得孩子般纏人，每次打電話來，總是滿懷熱誠地問：你什麼時候 回家？

且不說相隔一千多里路，要轉三次車，光是工作、孩子已經讓我分身無術，哪裡還抽 得出時間回家。母親的耳朵不好，我解釋了半天，她仍舊熱切地問：「你什麼時候能 回來？」

幾次三番，我終於沒有了耐心，在電話裏衝母親大聲嚷嚷，她終於聽明白，默默掛了 電話。隔幾天，母親又問同樣的問題，只是那語調怯怯地，沒有了底氣。像個不甘心 的孩子，明知問了也是白問，可就是忍不住。我心一軟，沉吟了一下。 母親見我沒有煩，立刻開心起來。她欣喜地向我描述：「後院的石榴都開花了，西瓜 快熟了，你回來吧。」

我為難地說：「那麼忙，怎麼能請得上假呢！」她急急地說：「你就說媽媽得了 癌，只有半年的活頭了！」我立刻責怪她胡說，她呵呵地笑了。小時候，每逢颳風下 雨，我不想去上學，便裝肚子疼，被母親識破，挨了一頓好罵。現在老了，她反而教 著女兒說謊了，我又好氣又好笑。

這樣的問答不停地重複著，我終於不忍心，告訴她下個月一定回去，母親竟高興得哽 咽起來。可不知怎麼了，永遠都有忙不完的事，每件事都比回家重要，最後，到底沒 能回去。

電話那頭的母親，仿佛沒有力氣再說一個字，我滿懷內疚：「媽，生氣了吧？」母親 這一回聽真了，她連忙說：「孩子，我沒有生你的氣，我知道你忙。」

可是沒幾天，母親的電話催得越發緊了。她說，葡萄熟了，梨熟了，快回來吃吧。我 說，有什麼稀罕，這裏滿大街都是，花個十元八元就能吃個夠。母親不高興了，我又 耐下性子來哄她：「不過，那些東西都是化肥和農藥餵大的，哪有你種的好呢。」母 親得意地笑起來。

星期六那天，氣溫特別高，我不敢出門，開了空調在家裏呆著。孩子嚷嚷雪糕沒 了，我只好下樓去超市買。在暑氣蒸騰的街頭，我忽然就看見了母親的背影。看樣子 她剛下車，胳膊上挎著個籃子，背上背著沉甸甸的袋子，她彎著腰，左躲右閃著，怕 別人碰了她的東西。在擁擠的人流裏，母親每走一步都很吃力。我大聲地叫她，她急 急抬起滿是熱汗的臉，四處尋找，看見我走過來，竟驚喜地說不出話來。

一回到家，母親就喜滋滋地往外捧那些東西。她的手青筋暴露，十指上都纏著膠 布，手背上有結了痂的血口子。母親笑著對我說：「吃呀，你快吃呀，這全是我挑出 來的。」 我這沒有出過遠門的母親，只為著我的一句話，便千里迢迢地趕了來。

她坐的是最便 宜、沒有空調的客車，車上又熱又擠，但那些水靈靈的葡萄和梨子都完好無損。我想 像不出，她一路上是如何過來的，我只知道，在這世上，凡有母親的地方就有奇蹟。

母親只住了三天，她說我太辛苦，起早貪黑地上班，還要照顧孩子，她乾著急卻幫不 上忙。城裏的廚房設施，她一樣也不敢碰，生怕弄壞了。她自己悄悄去訂了票，又悄 悄地一個人走。

才回去一星期，母親又說想我了，不住地催我回家。我苦笑：「媽，你再耐心一些 吧！」第二天，我接到姨媽的電話：「你媽媽病了，你快回來吧。」我急得眼前發 黑，淚眼婆娑地奔到車站，趕上了最後一趟車。 一路上，我心裏不住地祈禱。我希望這是母親騙我的，我希望她好好的。我願意聽她 的嘮叨，願意吃光她給我做的所有飯菜，願意經常抽空來看她。此時，我才知道，人活到八十歲也是需要陪伴的。

車子終於到了村口，母親小跑著過來，滿臉的笑。我抱住她，又想哭又想笑，嗔怪 道：「你說什麼不好，說自己有病，虧你想得出！」受了責備的母親，仍然無限地歡 喜，她只是想看到我。 母親樂呵呵地忙進忙出，擺了一桌子好吃的東西，等著我的誇獎。

我毫不留情地批 評：「紅豆粥煮糊了；水煎包子的皮太厚；滷肉味道太鹹。」母親的笑容頓時變得尷 尬，她無奈地搔著頭。我心裏暗笑，我知道，一旦我說什麼東西好吃，母親非得逼我 吃一大堆，走的時候還要帶上，就這樣，我被她餵得肥肥白白，怎麼都瘦不下去。而 且，不貶低她，我怎麼有機會佔領灶台呢？ 我給母親做飯，跟她聊天，母親長時間地凝視著我，眼裏滿是疼愛。無論我說什 麼，她都虔誠地半張著嘴，側著耳朵凝神地聽，就連午睡，她也坐在床邊，笑咪咪地 看著我。

我說：「既然這麼疼我，為什麼不跟著我住呢？」她說住不慣城裏的高樓。 沒呆幾天，我就急著要回去，母親苦苦央求我再住一天。她說，今早已託人到城裏買 菜了，一會兒準能回來，她一定要好好給我做頓飯。縣城離這兒九十多里路，母親要 把所有她認為好吃的東西都弄回來，讓我吃下去，她才能心安。

從姨媽家回來的時候，母親精心準備的菜餚，終於端上了桌，我不禁驚詫──魚鱗沒有 刮盡、雞塊上是細密的雞毛、香油金針菇裏居然有頭髮絲。無論是葷的還是素的，都 讓人無法下箸。母親年輕時那麼愛乾淨，如今老了竟邋遢得這樣。母親見我挑來挑去 就是不吃，她心疼地妥協了，送我去坐夜班車。

天很黑，母親挽著我的胳膊。她說，你走不慣鄉下的路。她陪我上了車，不住地囑咐 東囑咐西，車子都開了，才急著下去，衣角卻被車門夾住，險些摔倒。我哽咽著，趴 在車窗上大叫：「媽，媽，你小心些！」她沒聽清楚，邊追著車跑邊喊：「孩子，我 沒有生你的氣，我知道你忙！」 這一回，母親仿佛滿足了，她竟沒有再催過我回家，只是不斷地對我說些開心的 事：「家裏又添了隻很乖的小牛犢；明年開春，她要在院子裏種好多好多的花。」聽 著聽著，我心裏一片溫暖。

到年底，我又接到姨媽的電話。她說：「你媽媽病了，快回來吧。」我哪裡相信，我 們前天才通的話，母親说自己很好，叫我不要掛念。 姨媽只是不住地催我，半信半疑的我還是回去了，並且買了一大袋母親愛吃的油糕。

車到村頭的時候，我伸長脖子張望著，母親沒來接我，我心裏忽地就有了種不祥的預 感。 姨媽告訴我，給我打電話的時候，母親就已經不在了，她走得很安詳。半年前，母親 就被診斷出了癌症，只是她沒有告訴任何人，仍和平常一樣樂呵呵地忙裏忙外，並且 把自己的後事都安排妥當了。

姨媽還告訴我，母親老早就患了眼疾，看東西很費勁。 我緊緊地把那袋油糕抱在胸前，一顆心仿佛被人挖走。原來，母親知道自己剩下的日 子不多了，才不住地打電話叫我回家，她想再多看我幾眼，再和我多說幾句話。

原 來，我挑剔著不肯下箸的飯菜，是她在視力模糊的情況下做的，我是多麼的粗心！我 走的那個晚上，她一個人是如何摸索到家，她跌倒了沒有，我永遠都無從知道了。 母親，在生命最後的時光裏，還快樂地告訴我，牽牛花爬滿了舊煙囪，扁豆花開得像 我小時候穿的紫衣裳。

你留下所有的愛，所有的溫暖，然後安靜地離開。 我知道，你是這世上唯一不會生我氣的人，唯一肯永遠等著我的人，也就是仗著這份 寵愛，我才敢讓你等了那麼久。 可是，我真的有那麼忙嗎？

I Am So Enjoy EATing

Eating, eating, eating and eating. I am so enjoy with that. ^o^

2 Days 1 Night. Don't be misunderstanding. It is a Korean restaurant but not a travel package.

The French Stall which near by Little Inida. I was surprised in that area I am able to get such good French food. Can't say it is cheap but when compare to the ususal Freach food's price, it is good deal. Believe you should know this, something from Ikea. Actually i can't say it is good but i enjoy it. ^o^

The Green Monster Beer in Red Dot. The color is so beautiful. Taste is good too.

A Sunday

I Was A Volunteer

Done my 1st volunteer work on 23 Aug. Even though I needed to wake up at 6:45AM on Sunday morning, It is meaningful for me.

Did coin counting for Handicaps Welfare Association a day after the it's Flag Day. After counted for 2 and half hours, hands got dirt turn black.

Our name tags. Form needs to fill after count for every tank. A grandma who was counting the coin. ^o^

Counting, counting and counting. Keep counting.

The lunch - chicken rice. A Movie I Never Understand

After the coin counting, went to watch the movie Burno. This is the movie that I never understand. For the whole show, I kept saying: Oh My God. What the hell is this?

Until now, the movie still gives me a shock. I still comment it: Oh My God. What the hell is this?

Board Game Board Game
After movie, it was game time. Board game again. This is the number X time I played board game in the past 2 months. It is fun and relaxing when plays board game.

Dinner
Steam pot dinner in Novena. Eating and eating. Chatting and chatting. Nice dinner.

Life = Book = Life = Book

After 5 years of preparation, Karen launched her 1st book on 22 August in Borders. A book about herself and a book about her life.

Actually it needs a great courage to expose oneself to everyone. Unless you are not going to tell the truth. But if not going to tell the truth, then what is the point to name it: Biography.

It Shouldn't Be A GoodBye Coz We Are Going To Meet Again

There are people who step in and step out from our lives everyday. Some do leave a footprint in our memories but some don’t. It is human natural, we enjoy the joyful moment when get together but feel upset when say goodbye.

Kimmi left Singpaore. May be for short term or may be for long term. 大姐 Betty should be the one who feels upset and 寂寞 after Kimmi left because Kimmi is her good friend, a good housemate and a good colleague. Sang a Korean birthday song that night.
The Green Monster Beer in Red Dot. I like the green.

Ice Waling

Can’t believe my last ice skating was 11 years ago in USA. Tried again last Sat. Comment from my friend was I was walking but not skating.

Most of them are early 20’s, make me feel I am the……………………….. younger. 21, 21, 21, 21, 21, 21….forever 21. ^o^

我是令狐冲

作了这个测验，结果是令狐冲。一个愤世嫉俗，玩世不恭，生平无大志，只想吃喝玩乐，每天无所事事，开开心心，游游荡荡过一生的人。这样的人生，正是我所要的人生。

你是金庸十四天書中的那個主角(男)? (15題) 心理測驗，結果是 令狐沖
思想敏捷，詭計多端的華山派大弟子，自幼失去雙親，在華山受岳不群夫婦教養成人，教導了一身的俠義心腸，與小師妹「岳靈珊」是青梅竹馬的一對小情侶。好賭好酒，曾用師傳內功絕學騙叫化子的酒喝。為了從採花大盜田伯光手中救出恆山派儀琳、而挺身涉險，但因行為不羈，觸犯華山戒律，被罰面壁於思過崖一年。思過期間，因緣巧遇習得獨孤九劍，後因被岳不群陷害私吞僻邪劍譜而被逐出華山，小師妹也移情於林平之，百般打擊下落魄江湖，因一...曲「笑傲江湖」琴譜結織魔教聖姑任盈盈，相知相惜，更與許多魔教中人肝膽相照，憑著一手有進無退、天下無敵的劍法睥睨江湖，寫下一生傳奇的事蹟。《笑傲江湖》

Hometown - The Sunset

A evening walk with my father and happened to see this nice sunset view. Actually, the sunset supposed to be very nice. Too bad, my HTC phone’s camera is not good enough to catch what I saw.

Learn the Correct Way to Breath and Walk

After attended my 1st Pilates class, I realized that I didn’t know the correct way to walk and breath. Started to learn today.

When I walk, I keep looking at my feet and make sure I walk correctly. Also, I do look at how others walk. Funny thing is most people walk incorrectly, just like what I did.

Thanks Ms L for giving me the free one to one Pilates session. Will do my best for learning and practicing it in the next following months.

Happy Birthday Singapore

9t of Aug is Singapore National Day, Happy Birthday Singapore.

Suddenly fee a bit lost about my root, where I belong to. Have lived in Malaysia for 20 years, USA for 5 years and Singapore for almost 10 years.

I don’t feel I belong to Malaysia. This is a country I feel shame of most of the time. Sometime, I tell myself, I hate this country. I rather it to be destroyed.

I don’t feel I belong to USA. This is the country I love most but I am just a passenger for it.

I don’t feel I belong to Singapore. I am just a PR here and I am not yet a citizen. Sometime, I feel I am a outsider in this country.

Of course, I don’t feel I am belonging to China. A country where my grandparents came from. People are same face, some color and speak the same language as me. But is not the country I born and grew up with.

Don’t tell me I am Malaysian so I should love my country. I know I need to love my country but is this country love me and need me? Sorry, I am Chinese. So, I don’t think my country needs me.

Most of the time I feel that I really don’t know my country at all. When people ask me to sing the National Song, the song come out from my mouth is Singapore National Song. Sorry to tell that, these 2 songs are in Malay, for me, they are the same because I don’t understand the meaning of the songs. Not even 1 sentence.

I can’t remember which date is my country birthday. I just know is may be on 30th or 31st Aug or 30th Sep. Sometime I confuse what colors are in my country’s flag: red, blue, green, yellow and etc? 13 or 14 stars. 1 star represented 1 state. Together with Singapore are 14 stars? I am really not sure.

I feel I am know Singapore more. When I was a child, from TV, I know the people, the culture, the living style, the songs and many many more.

I still remember I loved to watch the show in Singapore National Day. I remember all the Singapore National Day Song like:
We Are Singapore
Stand Up for Singapore
One People, One Nation, One Singapore
Count On Me, Singapore

However, I don’t know any song about my country, not even the National Song.

I am confuse, where should I belong to? Maybe put in this way, I belong to the Earth and the Universe.

The last: My favor Singapore National Day Song is 家/Home from Kit Chan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9X7LKW7WuY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTkVG6lWvwY

我爱大便, 大便爱我

Fall in LOVE with 大便 is because of the 《IQ博士》. Believe many people did watch or read it before. From 《IQ博士》, I knew that actually 大便 can be so cute. Hahahaha.... ^o^

Story is about in a "企鹅村" 。村中有一名自以为是天才的則卷千平博士。他想制造一个和真人一样的机器人，所以制造了則卷小雲.

Everybody, this is 小雲, who likes to play 大便. Hahahaha.... ^o^

These 2 cute 大便 are from Connie. She knows I LOVE 大便, so bought them for me. I put them in my office desk. People from office saw them and coudln't believe there is someone who LOVE 大便. Hahahaha.... ^o^

Any1 Have Good Suggestion

Looking for a cheap and good villa in Bali, Indonesia.
Any 1 have any suggestion?

This is where I am going to stay. Look for a better one.

Too Much Food

A day which I had too much food. in 2 hours +, I had Thai food for dinner, French dessert and had another dessert in a Thai restaurant.

This month good offer for dessert: Bakerzin. 50% discount for all desserts. 10% discount for all drinks for CitiBank card.

3 jugs of beer for only $39. Location: whatever bar (forgot the name) behind Wine Connection in Robertson Walk