Sorry If I Gave You A Shock

Attended a colleague’s wedding dinner last night. After a few glasses of red wine, I was being a bit “playful” which did give a shock to people who I just met. I heard those people kept asking my colleagues: Is he always like that? In office also the same?

Actually I didn’t drink too much because did promise S that I only drank 10 glasses of wine since had to work next day. Somehow I couldn't get drunk because some of the big bosses were there. However, what I have done in the wedding dinner already gave people a big shock.

Thinking of 3 things now:
1. Agree with what S said, as long as already do what we can do; the rest just let it be the way it is.
2. L told me that it is time to stop. Feel sorry for L because everytime I just keep throwing my problem to him and he needs to help me to solve them.
3. Have an email to reply but have been thinking about how to write the email in the past 16 hours. It isn’t difficult to reply the email but have to think about what is the correct way to write it.

Time to sleep because already 4:30am in the morning.

Some funny photos I took with V.

Apology

I created a problem. I wrote something which upset some of my friends which I didn’t mean to do.

Would like to highlight and make clear of some points.
1. Seriously, I sincerely went there and gave my greetings to the 3 birthday stars.
2. There is no doubt, people and the party were fun.
3. I appreciated they invited me to the party and I really wanted to enjoy the party when I went there.
4. Have been the place for so many times. A bit tired of it. In short term, I better not to go there again.
5. That night I was very tired. Actually I was failing sleep.
6. For Albert. What in your mind is correct but not the main reason (most likely is about 30% was because of that). Yes, some issues are disturbing me in the past year quite badly. However, that night, the main things that disturbing me more were my work (30%) and my future (40%). I am a bit confused and lost.

I apologized if what I wrote does upset any of you or make you feel uneasy. I don’t mean that. Maybe my Shi Mei is right. My writing skill is not good then better not to write a blog. Sometime do make people misunderstood because I don’t know how to use the correct word to express my feeling.

Conduct Training

Did complete my 1st Business Objects training course last week. Trainees were company’s staffs. A bit nervous not only because this was the 1st time to be a lecturer but also some of students were high position (For exp: Head of Finance). Somehow few of them actually flew to Singapore (from Hong Kong, Japan & Korea) and attended the class.

I decided to conduct the class in the way I wanted: fun and relaxing. So, I didn’t follow the training procedure and go through all the training documents. My class was focusing on hands on practice than go through the training material because my students can do the reading any time after the class. (Hmm, another fact to prove that I am a black sheep in the company. Never followed procedure and tried to break the rules).

I am happy that after the 2 days tanning, all my students know how to use most of the functions in BO application. Also, they understand the data in Global Data Warehouse and able generate a report base on the needs of their work. From above, I give myself a pass for my 1st BO training and look forward to my oversea training exposure in the next few months.

This is my 1st training class room.

Not Going There Any More

Just came back from St James Power Station. A friend sent me a SMS and asked me what the hell I was doing there on Friday night because I told him I was bored and tired there. I agreed with him because I was not sure what I was doing there. Listened to his advice that I better rest at home, so I left there immediately.

When on my way home from St James, I was thinking about a question: go clubing supposes to be enjoyable and fun but why I am not? Most likely is because I'm sick and tired of that place. I did tell myself that I am not going there any more.

P/s. Before I went to St James, I was standing on the seaside for about an hour. I didn't do anything, just looked at the sea and repeated listening to one song, only one song. At that moment, I knew that I really love sea so much.

Repeat

Friend asked me why I don't get bore when listen to one song from day to night, repeating and repeating again. Hmm…I don’t know how to answer it. Actually I really don’t get bore when only listen to one song every day, every week, every month or even every year.

Reasons can be:
1. I am a boring person so doing boring thing.
2. When I like something (exp: a song),
I don’t get tired of it.
3. I am lazy/afraid of changed.

Who can give me an answer?

Sometime I think about that, if life can be like playing a song, set to repeat and keep repeating only the happy moment of life. Then life will be wonderful (or boring?).

An Advice

Today I went to visit a master who spends half of his life in Buddhist study. I went there to ask him one question: How can I be happy?

When I saw the master, before I said a word, the master already asked me: Don’t think too much and let go.

I was shocked he said that because I was very sure he already knew what I was going to ask him and knew the cause of my problem.

Below are the conversion between the master (M) and I (I).

I: Master, how to let go and not to think about it? I practice 般 若 心 经 (THE HEART OF PRAJNA) and understand the meaning of “色即是空，空即是色 (Form itself is emptiness; emptiness itself is form)”. However, I just not able to reach that level that can let go everything.

M: Use your mind. Since you already know it is not going to help you at all even though you keep thinking of it. Then why you still keep thinking of it? You need to know how to use your mind to control the situation but not let the situation to control your mind.

In the next 1 hour, we discussed THE HEART OF PRAJNA. I am not sure whether I did learn anything from this discussion. However, I know the only person who can help me is myself.

Before I left the temple, the master told me, I am in the peak of good luck/fortunate for the following 10 years. If I know how to let go and not to think too much, I don’t need to seek for his advice in next 10 years.

P/s. I forgot to ask the master whether he has power to seal up or erase some of my memories. If yes, then for sure i won't keep thinking of it because i already lost the memories. You might think i am very silly right?

Valentine's Day 2008

Received this lovely gift in Valentine's Day. Thanks someone for being so thoughtful and made an effort to brighten up my day.

Oh, yes. I have a similar pink scarf. "Someone", you have good memory. Since today is Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about LOVE. Actually for me, LOVE can be very simple and also can be very complicated. That’s why since human existed in the mother earth; no one is able to decode it.

A friend told me if there is no LOVE (she meant boy & girl relationship), then life might be happiest. I agree but also disagree with that. Agree is as I mentioned, LOVE is too complicated to handle and also cause a lot of pain. Disagree is if a true LOVE is too easy to have, do we still appreciate what the true LOVE is? Most likely NO. Just like happy and unhappy. If it is not because of 90% of our lives are unhappy, how can we understand and appreciate the joy of being happy?

Noticed that recently many people caught up with a virus call “LOVE SICK” and this virus is very strong. I do try what I can do to courage them but the result is insignificant because those “skills” I have actually only theoretically sounds great but practically doesn’t work at all. Reason is because it is always easier said than done.

After studied this “virus”, I have a conclusion for the cause of this virus:
Right person + Right person + Wrong timing = Mistake
Right person + Wrong person + Wrong timing = Mistake
Wrong person + Wrong person + Wrong timing = Mistake

Is there a situation that Right person + Right person + Right timing = Prefect Match? Yes, of cause but it might only happen once in a century.

Friends, nothing much I can help you but I am willing to lend my listening ears anytime when you need them. What I can do now is wish you all the best and good luck. Take care.

Btw, I copied the poem below from a friend’s blog. It is so sweet and sounds too good to be true. Anyway, it is nice to share it in Valentine’s Day.

You cook, I clean.
I fall, you hold me up.
You cry, I dry your tears.
I fall to sleep, you put the blanket on me.
You hang out with your friends,
I hang out with mine and we cuddle at night.
I am watching the sunset on the beach on the Bora Bora Islands, you are holding me and put your head on my shoulder.
We spot each other's bench press.
We scrub each other's back in shower.
We laugh on each other's silliness and not afraid to be stupid in front of each other.
We both just sit down, say nothing but we know what we are thinking.
Everything is about us not you or me.
And we grow old together and be two happy old men

P/s. How to know whether you have caught up with the LOVE SICK virus? If now you feel the same way as the song below, then you are.
我睁开眼睛 却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半 莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想 时间变得更漫长
也与你有关 否则又开始胡思乱想
我日月无光 忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈 其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯 有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上 现在空了一个地方
原来爱情这么伤 比想像中还难
泪水总是不听话 幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强 道理全是一样
说的时候很简单 爱上后却阵脚大乱
只想变得坚强 强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤 只要学会抵抗
原来爱情这么伤 原来爱情是这样
这样峰回路转 泪水明明流不干
瞎了眼还要再爱一趟 有一天终于打完
思念的一场战 回过头再看一看
原来爱情那么伤 下次还会不会这样

P/s 2. I love this sentence in the song 遇见: 我遇见你是最美丽的意外. I appreacite this 最美丽的意外 regardless of the ending is going to be good or bad.

Life Is A Miracle

Look at my baby’s time photo, I found that life is really a miracle. It starts from nothing, follow with a “join” of an egg and a sperm, after that a baby, a kid, a teenage, an adult, an old man and then disappeare.

I still not really understand how an egg and a sperm can become a human being like who I am. Who is the one “designed & decided” my personality, destiny, emotion…etc? I am not so sure.

Before the “join” of an egg and a sperm, What was I before?(An egg? A sperm? Half egg and sperm?)? After I die, what am I going to be (Again; an egg? A sperm? Half egg and sperm?)? LIFE IS REALLY A MIRACLE.

When look at the photos below, I can't believe i used to be a baby.

New Year Resolution 1 & 2

1st New Year Resolution on 8 Feb 2008

Yesterday mentioned my Beach Café plan to B; she is interested and wants to join. However, she has a BIGGER plan which is to buy an island and open a resort. She always wants to buy an island and does keep asking me to search for it. I believe she is quite serious about buying an island.

When the resort plan announced to her family, her brother-in-law is interested to has a diving business in the resort. Most import thing is must approach her father to join this resort business. With her father’s support, to buy an island and build a resort shouldn’t be any issue.

Anyway, this plan is in “talking” state and I think most likely is going to be “talk” only. Reason is B and I always have a lot of interesting ideas and plans since we were teenage but we never taken any action. I believe this beach resort is going to be another incompleted plan in our “dream plan” list.

2nd New Year Resolution on 8 Feb 2008

Another resolution on 2008 is much easier to achieve. It is to buy a house in Singapore. Always want to buy a house for investment but these 2 years the pricing is going up crazily. The dream is become more difficult to achieve.

Decided to buy it with SL. We always “talk” (hmm…talk only again) about to buy properties in Singapore, Johor Bahru and Kuala Lumpur for investment BUT haven’t bought any yet (SL is better than me, she already has few properties on hand). Anyway, this year must do something. After I back to Singapore for Chinese New Year holiday, I need to be aggressed and look for a house.

We Have a Choice

Peter: “Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice, my friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It’s the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what’s right.” <<Spider-Man 3>>

Yes, we always have a choice for anything and for everything. Actually it is all depends on whether we want to choose or don’t want to choose. Then, what is my choice and what am I going to choose? Hmm…I know my answer. I believe for others, what i chose is a stupid decision. Sigh!!!!!!!!

Friend

Do think about a question sometime, do I have or don’t I have friend/s? Actually I shouldn’t ask this question because it is unfair for my friends especial for those who always courage and help me when I needed.

However, sometime when I want to look for a friend to talk to, I realized that actually I don’t know who I can look for. I always think that I shouldn’t disturb people I know. Everyone has their lives to fight for and issue to handle. No one has the duty to be anytime when I needed. I do try my best not to disturb any of them. This is the reason why I choose to talk to Merlion.

A friend did ask me why I don’t go travel in Thailand since I never been there and do keep mentioning that I want to go. Yes, I want to go but I don’t like to go travel alone. Why not invite friend/s to go with me? It might sounds unbelievable that I have hundred over friends but I don’t know who I can ask. Same reason again, I try not to disturb any of them.

P/s. believe some of my friends are going to “kill” me because they did mention that anytime when need someone to talk to, call them.

Dictionary: Friend is a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.

Merlion, too bad, after I talk to you and you are not able to give me any advice or feedback. Anyway, thanks for lending me your listening ears all the time.

Chinese New Year 2008

Chinese New Year is from 7-21 Feb. As usually, I went to the Chinese New Year market in China Town. I usually go there to see the decoration and hunt for food. Every year when I go to the market, I don’t have much expectation for what people are selling there. Frankly speaking, what can I expect they are selling for Chinese New Year? Every year almost the same.

Don’t know why I don’t have mood to prepare and celebrate for the Chinese New Year this year. How I wish it is not going to come so soon.

Decoration in China Town.
The Chinese New Year market.

Albert and other friends are running a Mouse business this year because this year is year of Rat.

Goodies from Taiwan. Thing must have in Chinese New Year - Chinese oranges. Decoration in SunTec City shopping mall.

I Appreciate What I Have

Friend asked me that I wrote so many things related to some1 in my blog, did I ever expected “some1” read them and understand what I wanted to express? For me, I just try to express my emotion, stress, frustration and else through writing. I am not really expected any1 to read them and I just keep writing.

Actually, I know that, understand that and agree that it is NOT going to help or change anything ever “some1” read and understand what I write in my blog. I am sure “some1” will agree with me. I am fine with that with NO choice but I do enjoy and appreciate our friendship. This is only thing I have and I treasure it.