Ching Ming 清明

《清明 - 杜牧》：清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂。借问酒家何处有，牧童谣指杏花村。

It is Ching Ming again. As usual, it is time for us to mourn the dead and also a day for us to visit our ancestors graves. Anyway, now it is no longer a solemn occasion, but rather, a time for happy communion with the family members to show respect to our ancestors. A lot of people are playing firecracker on the grave yard. Feel like is another Chinese New Year celebration.

I never missed a year to visit my great grandparents’ and grandparents’ graves, except the 5 years when I studied in USA. For me, Ching Ming is important and meaningful.

Good Luck

Tomorrow you are going to take GMAT exam. Understand how stress you are. Just want to tell you, know that you study hard since months ago and you have done your best. Regardless of what is the result, you shouldn’t have any regret. Of course, I do believe you can make it and pass the exam. Please remember, you always have my support and blessing. All the best and good luck.

Update: Congratulation. I am so happy that you passed the exam. Thanks for sharing the good news with me. (3:00pm, 31 March 08)

Busy

Not sure what I am doing these few days, everyday work till 2 am. It’s something that the IT head urgently needs. He was very angry because he believed I prioritized his request not even least but no priority at all. Because of this “urgent” request, I wasn’t able to go gym and skip my combat class in past 2 days.

Suppose to join this company for Project Management. End up most of my time i am doing something I don’t like. Very discourage. Anyway, 2 major projects + conduct oversea trainings are going to running soon. Very busy but I feel happy because it is what I want.

Have been chasing to sleep by the manager in USA again. Everytime when I work late, the managers in Paris and USA always question me why still working after midnight. They like to tell me: TIME TO SLEEP.

Going to have my 3rd glasses of whiskey before I go to bed.

Alike

They look very much alike; the eye brow, the eyes and the nose. Looked at the sleeping face, I was a bit confused.

The Truth

When played Truth or Dare, friends surprised that I am being alone for so many years. Looked at their faces, I knew they were shocked.

There are many reasons why I am alone: afraid it is going to be another mistake, get use to being alone, not yet meets the right one at right time and many more.

After the game, I have a new nickname – Librarian. Why? For so many years, beside home and office, library is the place I usually go.

Agree with S, my life is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring.

Bits and Pieces

Complaint
Received a complaint. Some1 commented I am so “bitchy” and not willing to accept suggestion. Don’t understand why she always thinks she is right and others must accept her opinion.

Actually purposely tried to piss her off. Didn’t do anything, just ignored her and did what I believed was right thing to do. Such small thing which makes her angry for 2 months. What’s the point?

Busy
I believe I am really busy in these few months. Looking at my travel and fashion magazines, many of them are still sealed in a plastic bag. I don’t have time to read them yet.

Travel
Many of my friends are traveling on March and April. Singapore is going to be quiet for me without some of them to be around. Anyway, I am traveling too. Go to China for business trip and Hong Kong for vacation.

L's Advice
Now is thunder storm season in stock market. Everyday when L calls me, he always say: if you listened to me, sold your shares and bought a house with me on beginning of 2007, you can gain at least 300K now and not end up lost in stock market. Yes, he is right.

Holding His Hand

I enjoy taking a walk with my father. Started this after he suffered from stroke on June 2003. The incident (his illness) which is deeply burned in my mind.

After decided to take care my father, immediate I quitted my job. Have stayed 1 month in hospital and 15 months at home with him. The 1 month in hospital was a nightmare. I knew anytime I was going to lose him. The only thing I could do was kept praying and telling him how much I love and need him. I couldn’t lose him. That time, I understood what helpless and hopeless meant.

My father’s condition was critical. After discharge from hospital, he was unable to walk, recognized people and not even able to follow instruction like crewing or swallowing (I tried to put a mirror in front of him and helped him to practice).

Did try everything to help him walked and bring back his memory. After 4 months, he made it and able to walk slowly. 1st time when I saw he walked a few steps by himself without helped, I was so happy and I knew that it was hope.

After that, did bring him for morning and evening walk. Started with 1-2 minutes walked till he managed to walk for 10-20 minutes. It took 2-3 months to practice and train.

I like to hold his hand when walk. Reason is not only in case he falls down. By holding his hand, I am sure he feels safe when walk and also can feel the support and courage from me. The support and courage between a father and a son.

When I was a kid, I believe I did feel the same when my father hold my hand and walk. On that time, he made me felt safe and supported. When he is old and weak, it is my turn to hold his hand and walk. It is my responsible to make he feel safe and supported now.

Since I almost lost him, I do treat everyday as a bonus to have him to be around. The bonus also included every night when I call home at 9:30pm, I can hear he says hello; when I go home, I am able to hold his hand and feel the warm from his hand; when he goes to sleep and I can give him a kiss good night.

I would like to thanks, thanks whoever/whatever (Buddha/God/Heaven) gives me those bonus.

I Try

Everyday I try.
- I try to be a better person
- I try to be more patience
- I try to be more understanding
- I try to balance in between my life and work
- I try to enjoy my life
- I try to be happy
- I try to think positive
- I try to get more sleep
- I try not to drink every night
- I try to read more books
- I try not to stress myself with unnecessary thing
- I try meditation
- I try to let go
- I try not to disturb anyone
- I try to be silence
- I try to disappear
- I try…
- I try…

I try hundred of things everyday and I still keep trying.

Look at People’s Strengths

I always remind myself to look at people’s strengths but not weaknesses because no one is perfect. However, I haven’t seriously practice it.

Today due to unknown reason (seriously I really don’t know why I made this decision), I decided to try my best to look at someone’s strengths. He is a person that people give more bad comments than good comments.

If only talk about his strengths, actually he is a smart person who can see some things (or foresight) that most people can’t see. Also, he likes to give advice (people think is criticizing because he usually uses harsh tone).

He is aggressive and demanding. Put ourselves into others people’s shoes, I understand why he needs to do that because he is leading a regional team.

I believe I am fortunate to have many chances to get advice from him now and in future (for sure). I do appreciate all the advices he give me. I really can’t deny that those advices are good. Some of them do help me to be a better person.

Nowadays is not easy to find a so senior person who willing to spend an hour or 2 to advice, teach and share his experience with me.

A senior did tell me, look at people’s strengths and learn from their strengths. I agree with her and I am practicing it now, from today.

Raining & Snowing

Look through the window, it is raining again.

I like raining and snowing. Personal preference, I think they are beautiful.

When raining or snowing, I like to sit beside a big glass window and have a cup of hot coffee. Doing nothing, just look out and see the rain/snow falling from the sky. So quiet and peaceful.

Glad to See the Change

I am so happy and so excited tonight. Today is Malaysia's 12th General Election. I came back to my hometown and vote. I always support opposition party (DAP) and always hope it can have a chance to do something for Malaysia.

Tonight, my dream came true: DAP takes over Penang . Wow…. What a good news? Opposition parties are doing good in this election.

LL and I are so excited. We called and SMS each other and shared all the good news. I also called my other friends and told them the good news.

Before the election, LL, my friends and I did discuss whether it was good or bad if DAP took over Penang . People’s main concern is DAP doesn’t have experience in governing a state.

I agreed with them. However, I wanted them to answer 2 questions if they thought inexperience was a main concern.

1. BN has governed Penang in the past 50 years. We knew it wasn’t doing a good job. If BN had a chance to govern Penang for another 5 years, did you think it could do better? Or it was still considered “inexperience” and we needed to give it another 50 years? Since we could give BN the past 50 years to try, why couldn’t us gave DAP 5 years to try and prove that whether they could do a better job than BN?

2. When John F. Kennedy ran for presidency in USA, American knew he was young and inexperience. However, Amemrica was willing to give him a chance and try. Today, the history proved that American did make a right decision and Kennedy did also prove that he has done a good job as the President of the United State of America.

The history is going to repeat again. Now not only USA but the whole world is looking forward to have a 1st black or 1st woman president in USA .

USA is a young country (is about 200 years old) when compare with other countries like China and UK . However, it is the strongest counter in the world. Reason are American willing to ACCEPT new and willing to GIVE a chance to others. Since American can do that, why we can’t?

Today Malaysian (Malay, Indian, Chinese and others) did use their votes to tell the world that they are willing to ACCEPT new and willing to GIVE a change to others.

P.S. This was the 1st time I voted and I am so happy to see the result which is unexpected good for the opposition parties.

Hewlett Packard’s Buddies

Went to a Japanese restaurant Sun & Moon in Wheelock Place with A after we watched the movie P.S. I Love You. Surprised me that the environment is so nice and the food is good too.

Decided to arrange a gathering with my HP buddies there because after I showed them some photos of the food, everyone is so excited.

About my HP buddies, what I can say is they are the friendliest and cheerful people I have been working with. In my career life, I joined 5 companies in 6 years. The shortest time I stayed was with HP. However, the company which I made more friends and still keep in touch with them very closely is also HP; even though some of them are in UK, Australia and Malaysia now.

Election in Republic of Idiot

Once upon a time, there was a country named Republic of Idiot. Even though there were many intelligent people lived in that country but it was managed by a idiot, so the country never developed and poor.

There was a traditional activity in this country; every 5 years, people did vote for a new King to manage the country for next 5 years. Didn’t know since when, people were used to vote for a new King from a same family by generations to generations.

Was the King doing good job and managing well the country? The answered was a NO and fortunately all the kings from that family were IDIOT. However, due to unknown reason, even though those intelligent people kept complaining how bad those Kings were, they continued to vote for a King from the same family again and again every 5 years.

In such case, the same story kept repeating and repeating again in this country. People kept complaining but kept voting for the King from the same family and the King was enjoying his life and doing anything.

I have a question to ask. From above story, actually who was the idiot? Is the King or those intelligent people? I am sure you know the answer.

The Photo

Some people are curious the last photo I posted in “Sorry If I Gave You A Shock”, whether V and I did kiss or we didn't. I don’t think I need to explain this to any one except one person and I already did that.

So, if you are curios, then you make a guess whether the answer is a YES or a NO. :)

Illness with Mercy

Month ago a family member found that she has cancer but has high chance to be cure and fully recover. Everyone is worry about that. This is the 2nd cancer case in my direct family after my cousin pass away in age 26 few years ago.

For cancer, I don’t feel much about it after some of direct/indirect relatives and friends died because of it. For me, to get cancer is as easy as catch flu. Perhaps I already get used to it.

Read an article, the writer said cancer is illness with mercy. It easier takes away people’s lives but it does allow people to have time and do what they want to do before the last day of their lives (sounds like the movie: P.S. I Love You). It doesn’t like any kind of accident, take away a life in sudden. I do agree with it.

For me, I don’t mind if I die because of cancer. It does give me time to do what I want to do and say goodbye to people who I love. Maybe only a day but at least I have that chance to do.

P.S. Everytime when think about cancer, a movie immediately appears in my mind. It is a 1994’s Hong Kong movie - Endless Love <新不了情>. A group of professional actors and actresses with a tragic story and a beautiful song which made this movie memorable.

新不了情: 精彩对白
我觉得生命是最重要的，所以在我心里，没有事情是解决不了的。不是每一个人都可以幸运的过自己理想中的生活，有爱有楼有车当然好了，没有难道哭吗？所以呢，我们一定要享受我们所过的生活。