ALONE

Tonight (actually was last night since now is Sat morning @ 2am) after gym at Vivo City, I was hanging around in the shopping mall until all the shops closed. When I was on my way home in a MRT, Albert happened to call me and asked me out for supper. He was with Chert, Kimmi and others in Orchard.

For Albert , thank you for inviting me to join you in a lonely Friday night for me. Sorry I turned you down and lied to you that I was with friends and not able to join. For Albert and others, a million apologies for the lie. I really want to be alone.

After the call, I decided to go to my "Personal Emotion Treatment Centre" where is a place when I feel depress, unhappy and lost I always go – the One Fullerton and Esplanade. I go there just for taking a walk, looking at the sea and the beautiful night view of Singapore city. I feel peace and relaxing there. Don’t need to do anything,think anything or talk anything but just sit, walk or stand there and admire the beautiful night view.

After that, I went to Mandarin Oriental Hotel for my second visit since last Friday. Reason to choose this place is I can have a very good night view.

For me, actually I believe, when drink must be with friend/s then it will be fun and cheerful. However, I chose to be drinking alone. Therefore, I can’t really remember how the wine & liquor taste since everything for me was tasteless when I drank.

Fortunately I am going India for 2 weeks and not able to do this silly thing. Hope after I come back from India, I will feel better.

The Road

Yesterday when I was walking back home, suddenly I felt
very tire, depress and lost. I felt that my foot step was very
heavy and I even not able to take the next step out. Really
felt helpless, hopeless and didn’t know that where my
direction was.


The road which in front of me seemed so long
and so dark. I really didn’t have any courage to walk
further. No even one step.

I was standing on the road and kept asking myself:
*Where I want to go?
*What I want to do?
*What I want for my life?
*Who am I?
*What I am doing here?
*Who do I love? My parents, myself or THE ONE?
*Whatever I have, I do, I enjoy are what I really want?
*What is the meaning of life for me?
*How long I am going to live and when is it going to end?
Is 33 years consider too long already and enough?
……………….etc.

A lot and a lot of questions came across my mind.
Even though I was standing there for maybe just
a minute or even less.

For some people, I am an optimistic, cheerful,
fortunate, confident, strong and
independent person. However, who knows what is inside
me? Even I do not really understand myself sometime.

Is this what people always say everyone has 2 faces?
We only show the positive and false face but hidden
the true face. If it is true, then I am a big failure because
I was so lost and helpless last night.

Even now, I feel that the road in front of me, my life, is
so long and so dark. I don’t know how to courage myself
to go on. The stress and pressure make me difficult to
breath.

Shared this with my friend, he told me no only my life
is long and tough, everyone is the same. When compare
with others, I am a quite fortunate one.

Yes, I know and I also tell others the same. However, when
thing happens to me, I totally can’t handle it.

Welcome to ALFIE Food Bar

Yeap, today is 26 Sep 2007 and finally I started
my 1st business which is in the office. I opened my
own food bar on my desk: ALFIE Food Bar which
welcomes everyone in the office to get free tidbits.
At the same time, it allows people to eat and chat
on my desk. Of course, I also welcome anyone who
wants to contribute for the food/tidbit. I hope the
office can become a place where more heart
warming and bring more rapport between colleagues.

Not sure whether this “illegal” business is going
to against any of the company’s policy. I just do
it since I think it is a right thing to do. It can helps
to cheer up the working environment. My office is
really a “COLD” place. People just sit there and do
their works for whole day. Seldom see people walk
around and chat with others. OH MY GOD. What
kind of working environment is that? This is a place
only for people to get pay. Sick of it.

I really can’t stand the culture here. People are
not talking to others. As quiet as when walk into a
thousand years grave alone. After I joined, I tried to
bring in the culture for breakfast break, afternoon tea
break, walk around and chat, dress very stylish/down (an
Asia Pacific user director even commented that I wore
swimming suit to the office) on Friday…etc.
Hmmm….believe I already be blacklisted by some
bosses in the office. Anyway, I don’t care. For me,
I am not only want to have a work place but I also
want to have a play ground.

A Farewell Letter

This was the most special farewell letter I have ever
received. It was from Diff. When he left FCI, he wrote
a farewell letter only for Hwei2, Mark and I. We all
touched by what he has wrote. Just like Hwei2 said:
Wah! 写那么多是要我们感动到流泪吗?

Actually I have been thinking about whether it was
appropriated to post this email to my blog. Finally
I decided to post it but only for the portion that Diff
wrote to me (H & M. u can post your portion on
your blog). This is also part of the memory. So
why not and just post it.

For H, D & M, one of the most valuable things I
gained from FCI are the friendships from 3 of you.

Below is the letter.
---------------------------------------------------------
好啦，我想在我离开之前，有一些谢谢的话要对你们说的。

TO MARIA/CS，
谢谢你一直以来为大家细心地准备膳食水果，吃完了还要
你洗碗，实在不好意思。要说的是，你切水果的功夫真的
很好，加油噢。
谢谢你请我的 KARAOKE， 还有 FAREWELL DINNER。
其实FCI多了你，真的多了很多笑声，少了你，可能大家
就从此屁股黏着坐位，都不起来聊天了。当然，我也很期
待每个星期五你的勇于变装，让 OFFICE 热起来了。下
个拜五，有新的泳装吗，哈哈。记得有空把每个拜五的变
装拍给我看啊。我虽然离开了，可是还蛮想听你报道公司
里的劲爆新闻或趣闻的，哈哈。
有空会找你一起打麻将的，记得多带钱来。

Thanks for last night
Meal and Drinks!!!!

D.I.F.F

Agnes B

Received an Agnes B lanyard from Hwei2 after her business trip from Paris (see lucky person went Paris for business trip but I go India. Just kidding). I like it very much. Thanks Hwei2 for the wonderful gift. You are the best. Diff and Mark also received something from Agnes B as a gift too.

About Agnes B, I knew this brand from Diff. He is a BIG fan of Agnes B. Remember once I just said this series design for Agnes B wasn’t really that great and Mr. Diff almost wanted to throw me out through the window.

For Diff, ok, you keep in love with your Agnes B and I still
go for my SEED. So, next time don’t say everything
I put on is from SEED. Deal? Her.her.her.her. :)

Quotes

1. I love you not because of who you are,
but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears,
and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the
way you want them to, doesn't mean they
don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for
your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss you is to be
sitting right beside you knowing i
can't have you.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because
you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man, who isn't willing
to waste his time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people
before meeting the right one, so that when we finally
meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it
happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you
so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just
be more careful about who you trust next time.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you
are before you try and know someone else and expect
them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you
least expect them to.

The Season

Happened to receive some apple blossom photos
which did remind me of the sakura blossom I saw.
I love flowers and therefore I love spring very much.
On spring time, the cities where I used to stay were
covered by all kinds of flowers. Sakura was one of the kinds.

I liked to walk, sit or lay under the sakura trees.
Sometime just did nothing but appreciated the beauty of the flowers.

Friend of mine did tell me, one of the sweetest
memories he has was laying under the sakura trees
with his loved one. Looked at the blue sky and the
birds, bees and butterflies were flying in between
the flowers. When wind blew, the flowers gently
dropped on them.

Both of them were reading a book, chatting or taking
a nap. When felt cold, just got closed with
each others and the body heat from others which
made them felt warm.

A very lovely description for the blossom scenery,
isn't it?

THE ONE

Two of my friends Veera and Hui Yen got married
this month. Both of them do find their Mr. Rights and
decided to share their happiness and sadness with
THE ONE they chose.

Veera did mention that marriage is a life time project.
Even already plan well but it might go wrong
somewhere; sometime. Therefore, must carefully
manage it and review it all the time. Of course, sometime
must make a change in the project plan base on the
situation. I wish both of them have a happy marriage
and all the best.

After the wedding lunch, a friend did ask me when is
my turn. It is a question that I am not able to answer.

Learned one thing from Veera’s wedding:
Love is I have found the one whom my soul loves.

I am still looking for the right one. Actually years ago I
found one but l chose to leave THE ONE with miserable
pain.Years after I find one but I can't have THE ONE with
deeply regret.

For THE ONEs, you have to be happy at every moment
of your life.

思念是一种很玄的东西，如影随行。(王菲: 我愿意)

Sound From The Soul – The Music

Recently attended two music concerts: If There’re Seasons and Sympathy.

If There’re Seasons is a musical concert which is from Singapore. It is a breaktaking musical about love belong death, friendships that go the distance, and dreams that find their way home.

A very successful musical concert and the performance was beyond my expectation. All the songs are from Singapore songwriting sensation - Liang Wern Fook. I did grow up with some of his popular songs. Therefore, the songs from the musical concert did bring me back to the school day.

The comments it got: A Musical Feast That Captures Your Heart. A Lyrical Journey Beyond Imagination.

Anyone who missed it has to wait for it to come backs on 2009.

Sympathy is Korean Traditional Music concert which preformed by DASRUM.

DASRUM was established in 1990 by 8 female payers. The best characteristic of DASRUM music is sensitive and soft musical performance by women.

Bon Voyage

In a month, 2 good buddies are leaving my company. Diff left on 31st August and Mark is going to leave on 25th Sep. Of course, I’m a bit upset because they are not only my good buddies but also the good partners for breakfast, lunch and tea break in the past 5 months.

However, when look at the bright side, they are moving to another milestone and going to achieve a highest peak in their lives. I must feel happy for that.

Copy Mark, the youngest brother in our group. Don’t forget the 2 gifts i gave you.

1. Knowledge and experience are gained from hardship. Then wisdom is gained from experience.
2. Don’t envy why others can climb fastest than you do. Difference people have difference destinies. Some people move fast and some people move slow. As long you do not give up your dream and you will achieve what you deserved.

All the best for 2 of you, my dear friends.

My Birthday Present

Received my early birthday present on 31 August even my birthday is on 16 Oct. It is a 30G Creative ZEN Vision. Wanted to buy 30G Apple iPod but there is not more supply for it in the market.

Going to India for 2 weeks business trip from 30 Sep to 14 Oct. Thanks my thoughtful friend L who gave me this wonderful present and so i can bring it to India. This allow me to kill my loneliness time there.

Learning how to use most of the functions now and try to download as many song as possible.