The Road

Yesterday when I was walking back home, suddenly I felt
very tire, depress and lost. I felt that my foot step was very
heavy and I even not able to take the next step out. Really
felt helpless, hopeless and didn’t know that where my
direction was.


The road which in front of me seemed so long
and so dark. I really didn’t have any courage to walk
further. No even one step.

I was standing on the road and kept asking myself:
*Where I want to go?
*What I want to do?
*What I want for my life?
*Who am I?
*What I am doing here?
*Who do I love? My parents, myself or THE ONE?
*Whatever I have, I do, I enjoy are what I really want?
*What is the meaning of life for me?
*How long I am going to live and when is it going to end?
Is 33 years consider too long already and enough?
……………….etc.

A lot and a lot of questions came across my mind.
Even though I was standing there for maybe just
a minute or even less.

For some people, I am an optimistic, cheerful,
fortunate, confident, strong and
independent person. However, who knows what is inside
me? Even I do not really understand myself sometime.

Is this what people always say everyone has 2 faces?
We only show the positive and false face but hidden
the true face. If it is true, then I am a big failure because
I was so lost and helpless last night.

Even now, I feel that the road in front of me, my life, is
so long and so dark. I don’t know how to courage myself
to go on. The stress and pressure make me difficult to
breath.

Shared this with my friend, he told me no only my life
is long and tough, everyone is the same. When compare
with others, I am a quite fortunate one.

Yes, I know and I also tell others the same. However, when
thing happens to me, I totally can’t handle it.